There are things that can mask how you feel about something.  If you heard something bad about something you truly enjoy or about someone you enjoy hanging out with then it can make you feel like you don’t want to do that anymore or hang out with that person anymore when you really do want to. 

Similarly, if you have trouble dealing with your emotions from past experiences then it may be hard for you to see how you actually feel about something.  Do you really like that person or do you only like being with them because they give you attention when no one else has?  For someone who has been deeply hurt by others and had a history of being ignored it may be difficult for them to trust or in other cases it can make them too trusting because they want to be accepted.  Sometimes it’s hard and it can hurt the people that are involved, especially when questions such as “Do you like me?” or “How do you feel about me arise?”  Should they answer with a possible lie since they do not actually know how they feel or do they tell they person they are unsure?  It can hurt other people because though their emotions are not just confused about that one person but about many people, it can make it seem like they are lying about their difficult emotions and make it seem like they don’t like that person.


Taking a Bullet for a Friend

Recently I had a close life or death in counter twice in one night.  The first was when I was walking by the fence of a car dealership and smelled a strong scent of vodka and weed, and I later found out that if I had looked around and found the guys that were drinking and smoking back there had found me they were going to shoot me with the gun they had.  The second was later in the night when my friend found the guys and she ran after them threw the front entrance while I ran around the back in hopes of stopping and/or protecting her.  We did not know they had a gun with them, but we knew they at least had glass vodka bottles and possible a knife, and when I ran around the back of that parking lot I know I had to stop them from hurting her and boyfriend at all costs even to the point of risking my own life for them to get out, and luckily the two men ran out before either of us came close to them, but we later discovered that they were watching us for the remainder of the night and waiting for either me or my friend (who they thought were the same person) to get alone so they could kill us, but luckily they did not get the chance, and her boyfriend walked her home.  The man was later arrested in her garage.

We I ran around the backside of that I had every intention to get either injured or killed just so my friend could get out.  I’ve lived a decent life and I’m three years older.  She’s made many mistakes, and deserves a second chance, and also had died she would have been called an idiot for chasing them in the first place and no one deserves to have people think of them that way after they die.  Her boyfriend (and my friend) had ran in after her and told me that he would have taken a bullet for both of us just to keep us safe because he cared too much about us.  I had told a different one of my friends much later my intentions and willingness to die to save her, and my other friend responded and said “I would have turned my back on her, and I’m pretty sure everyone else would too for putting you in that danger in the first place.”  Though it may not seems like people want to being around me most of the time, they really do care about me and would be devastated if something happened to me. 

If I had been asked would I take a bullet for any of my friends I probably would have honestly said no or that it depended on the situation, but now I know full and well that I would never want anything to happen to any of my friend.  If you truly car about someone then you would take a bullet for them because you don’t want anything to happen to them.


In the wake of Robin William’s death from suicide many people are discovering that depression can hit anyone, even the person who everyone thought was the happiest person alive.  The problem with depression and suicide should have been realized a long time ago.  People suffer so deeply from suicide and I would say it is one of the painful things you could experience.  Depression can make you numb to everything around you or it can make your entire body hurt so badly you can’t move. 

One of the most terrible things about depression is that it is very easy to hide.  The person that you see all the time and always has a smile on their face could also be the person that is hurting the most, and could be the person that cries themselves to sleep every night.  The people that need help coping with depression often do not seek it because of the public judgment that they can receive from it, and that they don’t want to face the truth that they are suffering this terrible mental disease that is plaguing their hearts and minds.

People cope with depression in both health and non-healthy ways, but most people choose the non-healthy route of help with the use of drugs, alcohol, cutting, burning, anorexia, and the like.  So not only for the rest of their lives must they cope with the struggle of depression in one way or they other, but they also must fight what becomes an addiction that they use as an outlet for emotional pain, and often times they are left with the scars to remember the pain by.

People can be depressed for a number of reasons, but one of the ways you as an individual can prevent causing someone’s depression is to treat everyone kindly.  You do not know what someone else is going through in life and you being mean to them could be the final straw that pushes them into a state of depression.  When someone already has depression the best things you can do for them is to support them in their battle, listen to them when they need to talk, make sure they do not kill themselves, and be nice and friendly.

Remember, you never know who is suffering.  Old, young, male, female, they could all be suffering this great pain.


One of the very first things that they teach you during Emergency Medical training is safety.  They teach you not to go in until safety is completely assured.  If there is any possibility that there is danger then we are not allowed to go in and treat the patient. 

The same can be applied to other situations.  If you see an illegal activity happening then you should contact the police in one way or another, but you should never ever go into a possibly dangerous situation where you could be hurt.  If you see someone illegally hanging out on private property late at night and they are drinking and doing drugs then you should not under any circumstances enter the area.  The cops should be contacted immediately.  You should not enter the area because you do not know if these people are armed with knives and/or guns or not, and they are at least armed with glass bottoms and could hurt you. 

Always be smart and be safe because by jumping into a dangerous situation you could also be bringing your friends into dangerous situations because they want to back you up and make sure nothing happens to you in your time of trying to be a hero.  Be the hero by reporting them to the authority who has been trained to deal with these situations, not by getting yourself potentially killed or injured.


Always cherish the friends you have whether you are super close to them or not.  If they are there for you when you need help, then cherish them, because many friendships do not last forever, situations change and people change and the friendship is eventually terminated.  You don’t realize how much those people truly meant to you until they are gone.  You don’t realize how much you take your friendships for granted until you have no one to be there for you when you need someone.

Always be there for people when they need help, when they are going threw mourning or they are mental distressed or they just want to talk because if you’re not there for them how can you expect that someone else will be there for them?  And how can you expect someone to be there for you when you need help if you do not take them time to be there for someone else.

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” ~Ronald Reagan

If everyone in this world helped and supported someone every chance they go then no one on this earth would ever have to be alone.  Most of the time helping someone threw a problem doesn’t have to take a long time sometimes it only takes a few minutes, sometimes they just want another point of view.  Other times it could take a lot of time, many long nights to prevent someone from killing themselves or from simply going to sleep upset.  Sometimes the people who need the most help and the biggest friendship try to push people away because they don’t want to admit that they themselves also need help, and these people can’t be abandoned either just because they tried to push you away.  Yes, sometimes it does hurt, but you could be saving their life.

Someone I know was so suicidal that they said good bye to one of their good friends and were about thirty seconds away from slitting their wrists when they received a phone call from a another friend out of the blue who just wanted to talk, and that phone call stop them from killing themselves, but the first friend never forgave that person because they took the good bye as the person trying to end their friendship.  The first friend unintentional left them to die, and afterwards unintentionally is punishing them for having a mental disorder by not being friends with them, and they must live everyday they think that if they killed themselves they wouldn’t of lost their best friend.

If you leave someone who is trying to push you away, you could be doing something terrible because you don’t always know what they are going threw and you don’t know what they intend to do when you’re gone and not watching them.


“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey

In life you can over come your circumstances, you can over come the things that are holding you back.  You can overcome a poor childhood, a disease or disorder, or any other situation in order to succeed and become who you want to be, but you cannot over come the bad decisions that you make in your life that have ruined you life.

If you choose to get drunk and get high off of pot and various other drugs, you become that person, it can ruin your reputation forever whether you end up quitting or not.  You are the keeper of your own destiny, you decide who you want to become.  If you make the choice to not focus in school and spend all your time partying, then that is who you become.  You will have many difficulties in the future.  Some people say Hey, I’m young I can party and have fun now, I can spend time later worrying about the future when it gets here, and no you shouldn’t worry about the future, but you should also realize that you’re building your future now, you’re building who you are now.  And you need to spend time focusing on that.  If you want to party, that’s your business, but also remember you have important things to think about and plan for, no matter how old you may be.  Whether you’re sixteen or twenty-six or in your forties, you have things you need to take into account.  If you’re in your teens and get in trouble with stuff like the law or drugs or alcohol, it does show later on too, and it can prevent you from getter a job because it does affect you.  Make your decisions to plan for the product you want to become in the long term and you will never regret it.


What is love? Does it exist on earth?

I believe God loves me, but are people on earth able to love one another?

Or is what we call love actually just the fulfillment of a need.  Like the need for attention from another human being.  I am in a long lasting relationship, but is it really love or is it a fulfillment of my need for human companionship. 

You need so many people in so many ways, and you are able to “love” many, many people, but do we only love those people because we need them or because we feel that much affection in our hearts?

Talking about the big and small things of life.